Positive vs Negative

I can be a very positive person, and also a very negative person. It pretty much boils down to what my mood is, and the subject at hand.

I am very sensitive when it comes to my relationship with my boyfriend. We met toward the end of our sophomore year in high school, and shortly after meeting started going out. We were together for almost a year when everything fell apart, and blah blah, until we got back together about halfway through our senior year. We have now been together for just shy of a year and a half. After high school he joined the air force, and it has been the hardest thing I've ever gone through.

I had started community college before he left for basic, so I kept busy and time went by rather fast. I flew down to Texas for his graduation, and he surprised me by coming home for Christmas. After his tech school he came home, before going to Turkey. FOR 15 MONTHS.

There is so much that I could say, but I wouldn't know where to start.

I have my heart set on marriage, and if I could have had it my way, I would not be sitting here on my bed in Tacoma freaking Washington writing the blog post right now. Ever since the summer started, life has been.. BLAH! I was planning a trip to Turkey, but that got cancelled, and all my positivity seemed to have gone with it. But, as it turns out, nobody likes a negative Nancy, including Josh, so I have to get my butt in gear and become more positive.. forever.

I have found positive things to think about and look forward to, but the smallest thing can set me off track. D: (As I said before, I am very sensitive when it comes to my relationship.)

Missing Joshua is my biggest issue, and not only because of the fact that he is not here but also that we live two separate lives.. Anyway, so with missing Josh, I was really looking forward to going to Turkey to see him.. now combine that with the timeline I want (I want to get married next summer, therefore need a proposal before that.) and the fact that I am no longer going, I am left with this list of positives and negatives, or pros and cons, as you will.

Negatives:

• I now have to wait three months longer than I had hoped to see him.
• I don't get to go to Turkey.
• I got a passport for nothing.
• Did I mention I don't get to see him?

Positives:

• I get to see him for Christmas.
• I don't have to suffer through the hot Turkish weather.
• I'll already have my passport for when I'll need it.
• If, and he better, he proposes while he is home, we can have engagement pictures taken, where as if he proposed while I were in Turkey, that would not be possible.
• He will have more money for a ring.
• We can celebrate our engagement with our families.
• Did I mention I get to see him for Christmas?

So as you can see, I have managed to make the positives list longer than the negatives, but the circumstances that led on to this change still bring me down.

There is much more that I could share my positive/negative outlook on, but I will not bore you with everything at once.

Til next time, think positive!